1 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,146 [STATIC NOISE] 2 00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:24,441 MAN 1 [ON TV]: You looked at Ray and said, 3 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,276 "I want him to be my boyfriend, 4 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:30,447 but he's got to change." What are you talking about? 5 00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:34,409 WOMAN 1 [ON TV]: that initiated a misunderstanding 6 00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:39,080 was that one day, I didn't want to have sex with him. 7 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,751 So he starts talking about calling somebody else to do it. 8 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,794 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 9 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,047 MAN 2: Oh, no. 10 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,757 [BLEEPING] 11 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,469 MAN 3: Stop at 4000 and a spin. 12 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,762 MAN 4: That's not why it happened. 13 00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,806 You'd been drinking, you were making love to me. 14 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,475 MAN 4: Yes. 15 00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:01,144 ["MY THREE SONS" THEME PLAYING] 16 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:03,730 JERRY: This differs from a normal massage? 17 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,398 LISA: It's more sexual. 18 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,734 JAIME: when I see a good ball. 19 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,361 STEVE: Okay, maybe you're right. 20 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:12,989 Well, don't patronize me. I don't need that. 21 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:16,493 Jamie, I-- No! 22 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:24,459 WOMAN 2: killed his brother in cold blood. 23 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:28,296 RICKI: on food service workers. 24 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,758 Mr. Davis, do you take cream and sugar in your eye? 25 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:33,885 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON TV] 26 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:38,848 Get out. JAIME: What? 27 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:43,478 Lisa, do you want to tell them something? 28 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,939 LISA: Well, I'm really a man. 29 00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,441 [AUDIENCE SHOUTING ON TV] 30 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:53,196 [REMOTE CLICKING] 31 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:56,241 [DINAH WASHINGTON'S "TV IS THE THING THIS YEAR" PLAYS] 32 00:01:56,324 --> 00:02:00,787 Jesus. Where's the cable guy already? 33 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,216 Rick Legatos, please. 34 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,885 Hey, Phil. 35 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:22,475 Hey, Rick, phone. Hello? Hey, how's the move going? 36 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:28,440 Horrible. The cable guy I hope he gets here before I die. 37 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,359 You haven't called Robin? Tell me you didn't. 38 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,528 No. I'm giving her her space. 39 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:38,616 I can't believe she's doing this. You shouldn't have proposed. 40 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:43,163 All she had to do was say no. She didn't have to kick me out. 41 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:47,667 WOMAN: Let's go! Just give me a minute! 42 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,670 Listen, one sweet little piece of advice: 43 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:56,760 Slip the cable guy 50 bucks, he'll give even the dirty ones. 44 00:02:56,801 --> 00:03:02,140 I couldn't. I'm not good at that stuff. What if he says no? 45 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:05,393 None of them say no. Never happens. 46 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:09,439 I've got to go. Talk to you later. All right. 47 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:11,524 [DIALING] 48 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:19,324 ROBIN [ON RECORDING]: Steven doesn't live here anymore... 49 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,637 [DOORBELL BUZZING] 50 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,973 CABLE GUY: Cable guy. Oh, great. 51 00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,601 [DOORBELL BUZZING] 52 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:50,980 CABLE GUY: Cable guy! Don't leave! 53 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,484 [POUNDING ON DOOR] 54 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,821 STEVEN: Wait! Cable guy! 55 00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,989 I'm coming! Cable guy! 56 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,075 I'm coming. Don't leave. 57 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,911 [POUNDING ON DOOR AND DOORBELL BUZZING] 58 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:07,747 CABLE GUY: Cable guy! 59 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,916 [CABLE GUY GRUNTING] 60 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,254 Hey, wait! Come back. 61 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:22,012 Look who decided to show. You should have come four hours ago. 62 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:26,725 Should I? So I'm the tardy one? 63 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:31,521 Yeah. I was going to the bed-and-bath place. Now it's closed. 64 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:36,526 Maybe I shouldn't have come at all. Jerk off! 65 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,155 I'm just joking with you. 66 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,823 [LAUGHS] 67 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,200 Let's do this. 68 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,786 Wow. The old McNair place. 69 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:50,040 Never thought they'd get the floors clean after what happened. 70 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,459 What happened? 71 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,669 They had a lot of cats. 72 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:59,007 The comment card. Please mail it in when I'm done. 73 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,425 Does it go to your boss? 74 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:04,637 No, it goes to me. I'm kind of a perfectioniss 75 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:10,727 [LISPING] Perfectionist. 76 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:14,105 Let's take a look at what we're dealing with here. 77 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,400 Hm. 78 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:22,072 This could be a cool pad. 79 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:27,118 Come on, baby. 80 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:33,041 Come on, baby. Talk to me. 81 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:38,004 Tell me where you like it. Come on. 82 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,472 Hello, mama. 83 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:54,729 Is this what you want? Huh? Is this where you need it? 84 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,565 Talk to me. 85 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,570 How about this? 86 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,782 Oh, yeah. 87 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,623 That's your sweet spot, right there. 88 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,048 So your lady kicked you out. 89 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:24,426 What? 90 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,552 [DRILL WHIRRING] 91 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,846 In preparing your service, 92 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:32,809 I noticed you were previously wired 1268 and a half Chestnut. 93 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:38,857 Last week, the billing was transferred to one Robin Harris. 94 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:44,279 Smells like heartbreak to me. I don't want to discuss that. 95 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:49,242 Just install my cable, please. Suit yourself. 96 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,911 No sweat off my sack. 97 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:56,833 You might want to put on a bathing suit. 98 00:06:56,916 --> 00:07:01,087 You'll be channel surfing in no time. 99 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:20,648 WOMAN [ON TV]: of former child star, Sam Sweet, 100 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:24,903 who has been accused of shooting his twin brother, Stan, in cold blood. 101 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:28,698 The twins were stars of the hit sitcom Double Trouble, 102 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,659 which aired from 1977 till 1984. 103 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,286 Who broke this? 104 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,455 He did it! He did it! 105 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:38,750 WOMAN: after their program was canceled. 106 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,378 Hollywood chewed them up and spit them out. 107 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,880 A frustrated Sam turned to petty larceny 108 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:50,220 while his more impressionable called Brotherhood of Friends. 109 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,558 I hope they fry this bastard. 110 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:07,862 What happened? Oh. 111 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:14,077 Your furniture and appliances were causing problems with the reception. 112 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:20,083 I moved a few things. Is it cool? Yeah, I guess. 113 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:24,379 I just have some paperwork for you to fill out. 114 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:29,634 It's a drag. You just get to know Boo-bam. 115 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,637 Sign here. 116 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,606 Well... 117 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,776 I feel good about this. 118 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,655 Okay. 119 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:56,077 Hey, wait. Yeah? 120 00:08:56,119 --> 00:09:02,459 Uh, one thing. I have this friend, and he gave his cable guy $50. 121 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:07,839 And then he got all Did you ever hear of that? 122 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:21,186 You mean illegal cable? Um, yeah. 123 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:25,148 Who told you that? What's his name? Forget it. 124 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,566 You're offering me a bribe. 125 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:29,110 That's illegal. In this state, if convicted, 126 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:33,656 you could be fined in a correctional facility. 127 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:37,911 No, I was just making conversation. Forget it. 128 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,871 [LAUGHING] 129 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:46,169 I'm just jerking your chain. 130 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,337 [LAUGHING] 131 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,423 You are too easy. 132 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:54,386 Wake up. Smell the smelling salt. 133 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,348 I'll juice you up. 134 00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:03,353 One guy doing another guy a solid. That is so nice. 135 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:08,525 Well, you're a nice guy. Many customers treat me like snot. 136 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,528 Like I'm a goddamn plumber or something. 137 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:15,907 Here's my personal pager number. It's for preferred customers only. 138 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,035 Never call the company. They'll just put you on hold. 139 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:22,831 Thanks. You'll get good marks. 140 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:27,794 Maybe I'll show you the satellite, It's incredible. 141 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:32,465 Sure, we should do that one day. How about tomorrow? 142 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,968 Tomorrow? Tomorrow's no good. 143 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:39,431 Why? What are you gonna do, sit around and stew about your ex? 144 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,726 No. 145 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,312 Oh. 146 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:52,318 Okay. I crossed the line. Sorry. No. You didn't cross the line. 147 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,655 No? Cool. Pick you up at 6:30. 148 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:04,247 STEVEN: Each can be converted into a home. 149 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:11,004 There's a swimming pool, two tennis courts, a gym and a stage 150 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:14,049 if the residents decide they want to perform Oklahoma! 151 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,300 [CHUCKLES] 152 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,551 Oklahoma! 153 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:21,097 STEVEN: is available in foreclosure. 154 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,893 With a cash bid, we can steal this thing. 155 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,983 [LAUGHS] 156 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,779 Yo, Steve-o. 157 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,907 Tough room, but you got them. How you feeling? 158 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:39,866 Fine. 159 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:44,120 Are you having a little domestic discord? 160 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:49,334 Yeah. Robin and I are having I think it's only temporary. 161 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:56,091 Can I be blunt with you? If I approve it's not going to be my ass. 162 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:59,302 Do you know what I mean? I'm on it. 163 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:03,598 TONY [ON TV]: They tell me this. Ha, ha, ha. 164 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:08,395 There's something in everyone's life they could improve. 165 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:15,276 If they're doing well financially, maybe their relationships suffer. 166 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:20,031 MAN 2: "Personal Power Success System" 167 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:22,367 for a no-risk, 30-day free trial. 168 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,328 [CAR HORN HONKING] 169 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:29,290 CABLE GUY: Steve! Steven! 170 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:32,752 Stevie, time to leavie! 171 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,629 Yo, Stevie! 172 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:41,428 Hey, buddy! Come on down! Are you waiting for, an invitation? 173 00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,514 It's the fun bus. Come on! 174 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:53,064 STEVEN: How's it going? Hey, buddy! 175 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:56,651 CABLE GUY: I've had a few drinks, so buckle up. 176 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,319 [LAUGHING] 177 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:03,074 That's my humor. Hey, thanks for coming out. 178 00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:09,456 Most people never take the time to understand how the cable works. 179 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,833 STEVEN: are we going? 180 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:16,046 To ride the information super highway. 181 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:45,033 I come up here Clear my head. 182 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,577 brace yourself. 183 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,957 There she is. 184 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:05,595 She's sending entertainmen t and information to millions of citizens. 185 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:12,936 That's pretty impressive. See? I knew you'd appreciate this. 186 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,486 The future is now! 187 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:26,241 Soon every home will integrate their television, phone and computer. 188 00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:31,371 You'll be able to visit the Louvre, or watch female mud wrestling. 189 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:36,876 You can shop from your home, or play video games with someone in Vietnam. 190 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:42,007 There's no end to the possibilities! 191 00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:49,055 When I was a kid, my mom worked nights. I never met my father. 192 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:53,852 But the TV was always there for me. I know what you mean. 193 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:57,022 My dad might as well have been away. 194 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:04,779 That's tough. You must have a lot of abandonment issues. 195 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:08,199 Reality isn't Father Knows Best anymore. 196 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:12,579 It's a kick in the face with a steel-toe work boot 197 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:19,669 and a trip to the hospital, for reconstructive surgery. 198 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:23,131 But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? 199 00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:28,928 You know, my brother is a speech therapist. 200 00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:33,183 So? 201 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,936 Never mind. 202 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:44,944 You're pretty love-struck, huh? Yeah, I miss her. 203 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:50,283 I proposed, and she kicked me out. I hate that. 204 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:56,456 She said I pressed too hard. Women are a labyrinth, my friend. 205 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,582 STEVEN: Mm-hm. 206 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,293 Can I be frank? 207 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:08,134 I don't think you listen to her. to hear. 208 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:12,555 She wants you to thirst for knowledge about who she is. 209 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:16,976 All the complicated splendor that is woman. 210 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:23,233 When your love is truly giving it will come back to you tenfold. 211 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:27,487 You're right. That's incredibly insightful. 212 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:32,117 I know. final thought on Friday's show. 213 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:44,546 You know what? It's on HBO this month. 214 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:47,549 That's your bait. Robin loves that movie. 215 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,217 They all do. 216 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,554 Tell her you're cooking yourself dinner, watching it by yourself.. 217 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:56,599 and sound like you've just never been happier. 218 00:16:56,683 --> 00:17:02,272 She'll come running. Maybe I'll give it a try. 219 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:06,234 It's embarrassing, I don't even know your name. 220 00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:09,821 Do you really want to know my name? 221 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,158 You do? Sure. 222 00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:25,795 It's Ernie Douglas. But my friends call me Chip. 223 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,184 Um... 224 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,436 Goodbye. 225 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,983 This concludes our broadcast day. Click. 226 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:52,280 I don't listen to you. I pretend to understand.. 227 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:55,617 but I'm just saying what I think you want to hear. 228 00:17:55,700 --> 00:18:02,665 I'm interested in learning about the complicated splendor that is you. 229 00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,334 Oh. 230 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:11,216 I can see that taking this time might be good for us I'm not mad. 231 00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:17,889 Sometimes time apart is healthy. You're right. 232 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:24,062 Well, that's what I came here to say. 233 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:28,692 Ooh. I gotta get back to the office. 234 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:35,573 So, what are you doing tomorrow? Cook dinner and watch a movie. 235 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:40,328 Sleepless in Seattle is on cable. Really? I love that movie. 236 00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:44,332 Oh. Well, if you're around, check out the apartment. 237 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:47,460 Okay. Maybe I will. Whatever. 238 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:57,721 Hi, I'm Tabitha Soren. Today in the Sam Sweet case 239 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:02,934 the prosecution played he murdered his brother. 240 00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:06,271 Keep in mind, one month later. 241 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:10,692 SAM [ON RECORDING]: My twin brother's been shot. 242 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:13,570 I think it was an Asian gang or something. 243 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,031 I saw somebody. He looked Asian. 244 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:20,785 He was speaking another language. I'm pretty sure... 245 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,871 [SNIFFLING] 246 00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,164 It was Asian. 247 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,457 [CRYING] 248 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,466 [GRUNTING] 249 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,260 MAN 1: Oh, man. 250 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:40,764 MAN 2: He had the same injury last year. 251 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:44,684 Hey! You guys play here too? 252 00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:50,523 Weird. I was just out and about. wanted to play some round ball. 253 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:55,278 Great. We need another man. This is Chip Douglas, my cable guy. 254 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:59,366 We met a week ago, my whole life. 255 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:01,868 Really? That's sweet. 256 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,745 [GUYS LAUGHING] 257 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:07,916 Chip Douglas, you're on my team. No way. 258 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:13,463 I'm on Steven's team. I'll switch teams. Let's just play. 259 00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,966 Hold on. I've got to warm up! I don't want to pull a hammy. 260 00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:47,372 Let's get it on. You any good? 261 00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:50,166 Feed me under the board. You'll find out. 262 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,002 Check it. 263 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,798 Looks good. 264 00:20:56,881 --> 00:21:01,511 Okay, let's see what you got, White Shadow. 265 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,514 Foul! 266 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:08,810 Travel! That was a travel! Whatever you say, Chip! 267 00:21:08,852 --> 00:21:12,063 Oh, I see. We're playing prison rules, huh? 268 00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,482 [FILTER'S "HEY MAN, NICE SHOT PLAYS] 269 00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:22,032 Ha! 270 00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:31,291 [CABLE GUY LAUGHING] 271 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,589 [GRUNTING] 272 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,646 CABLE GUY: Feed me! 273 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:03,656 Steven, I'm open! Feed me the rock! 274 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:07,744 STEVEN: Chip, over here! 275 00:22:25,136 --> 00:22:28,682 [SCREAMING] 276 00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:45,615 I love this game. 277 00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:52,497 I guess we're done. Thanks for bringing your friend. 278 00:22:55,333 --> 00:23:00,547 Hey, Rick! I never made a slam dunk before. Thanks for the boost. 279 00:23:00,630 --> 00:23:02,173 [CABLE GUY LAUGHING] 280 00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:06,511 What are you doing? 281 00:23:07,637 --> 00:23:12,475 I'm just talking trash. You ruined the game. 282 00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:16,396 I don't appreciate your tone. like that. 283 00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:20,942 What are you talking about? I don't even know you. 284 00:23:21,026 --> 00:23:24,446 Well, let's change that. Let me buy you a Heineken. 285 00:23:24,529 --> 00:23:27,449 I'm going home. 286 00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:32,078 I guess we'll talk later. and do some stuff anyway. 287 00:23:42,172 --> 00:23:45,008 MACHINE: You have 11 new messages. 288 00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:46,009 All right. 289 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:47,469 [BEEP] 290 00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:51,806 MOTHER: I'm still your mother, you know. 291 00:23:51,890 --> 00:23:55,518 FATHER: Steven, call your mother. 292 00:23:55,560 --> 00:24:00,273 CABLE GUY: I'm at 555-4329. 293 00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:01,733 [BEEP] 294 00:24:01,816 --> 00:24:07,238 What's up, Steve? I'm at a pay phone. If you're there, pick up. 295 00:24:07,322 --> 00:24:09,783 Okay. I'll be home later. 296 00:24:09,866 --> 00:24:10,909 [BEEP] 297 00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:14,829 Okay, I'm home. Give me a buzz when you get in. 298 00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:16,373 [BEEP] 299 00:24:16,414 --> 00:24:21,294 It's me again. I was taking a whiz. Thought you might have called. 300 00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:22,587 [BEEP] 301 00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:26,049 We're having ourselves a game of phone tag here. Ha, ha. 302 00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:27,926 [MACHINE FAST-FORWARDING] 303 00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:34,140 I was just blow-drying my hair Anyway, call me. We'll talk about it. 304 00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,433 [MACHINE FAST-FORWARDING] 305 00:24:35,517 --> 00:24:37,394 Steven, I think your machine is 306 00:24:37,435 --> 00:24:39,062 [MACHINE FAST-FORWARDING] 307 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:40,730 Oh, shit. 308 00:24:40,772 --> 00:24:42,524 [PHONE HANGS UP THEN DIAL TONE] 309 00:24:42,607 --> 00:24:44,234 [DOORBELL BUZZING] 310 00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:51,700 Hi. Hey, good to see you. 311 00:24:51,741 --> 00:24:54,577 You too. 312 00:24:54,619 --> 00:24:56,830 [CHRIS O'CONNOR'S "STANDING BOOTH" PLAYING ON STEREO] 313 00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:07,090 So how's work? Work's good 314 00:25:07,132 --> 00:25:08,800 How's Hal? 315 00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:13,346 How's Hal? The guy has no vision. 316 00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:18,143 It's like working for Mr. Magoo. And those hai r plugs... 317 00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:19,769 I know. 318 00:25:19,811 --> 00:25:24,190 He's just an utterly useless person. I think I hate him. 319 00:25:24,274 --> 00:25:26,526 Ha, ha, ha. Ah. 320 00:25:26,609 --> 00:25:33,658 It's nice to see you doing so well. Well, it's nice just to see you. 321 00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:37,620 Hey. It should be on now. 322 00:25:39,164 --> 00:25:40,749 [MUSIC STOPS] 323 00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:53,011 Damn it. Son of a bitch. The cable's out. 324 00:25:53,053 --> 00:25:58,933 Oh, wait. I know what to do. The cable guy is a friend of mine. 325 00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:04,606 I'm a preferred customer. and we should have this fix in no time. 326 00:26:04,689 --> 00:26:06,816 [PHONE DIALING] 327 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,694 [POUNDING ON DOOR] 328 00:26:18,161 --> 00:26:22,665 Hi. Is there a problem with your service? 329 00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:24,376 Yeah. My cable's out. 330 00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:31,174 Really? So you called me. 331 00:26:31,216 --> 00:26:34,928 Funny, how you call when you need something. 332 00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:37,263 Is that how you treat people? 333 00:26:37,347 --> 00:26:41,226 I've been busy. Robin is here. 334 00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:48,692 Hey. Please. This is important But calling me back isn't? 335 00:26:48,733 --> 00:26:51,069 I'm sorry. Please. Can you help me out? 336 00:26:54,239 --> 00:26:59,494 Why should I help you? I gave you free cable. 337 00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:03,915 What have you ever done for me? Anything you want. Just name it. 338 00:27:03,998 --> 00:27:08,420 Tomorrow night we hang out. Fine, anything you want. 339 00:27:09,838 --> 00:27:16,136 God bless you. You're too good to me, really are. 340 00:27:22,350 --> 00:27:23,226 [SWITCH CLICKS] 341 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:25,145 Ta-da. 342 00:27:25,228 --> 00:27:27,439 All set! 343 00:27:31,276 --> 00:27:37,365 What's with the cut cord? That's for effect. See you tomorrow. 344 00:27:37,407 --> 00:27:41,911 She's pretty. Don't kiss her. Don't even touch her. 345 00:27:41,953 --> 00:27:46,708 Resist the urge at all costs. It'll pay off in the end. 346 00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:48,793 [MAKES HONKING NOISE] 347 00:27:49,377 --> 00:27:51,129 See what I'm saying? 348 00:27:55,258 --> 00:27:57,344 Enjoy the flick. 349 00:28:00,972 --> 00:28:04,517 That was fast. Yeah. 350 00:28:04,601 --> 00:28:09,064 Are you okay? I'm fine. Don't I look fine? 351 00:28:09,105 --> 00:28:14,778 SAM [ON TV]: I'd rather just see somebody I like. 352 00:28:14,861 --> 00:28:20,909 Get a feeling about them, and ask them if they'd like a drink. 353 00:28:20,950 --> 00:28:25,080 JONAH: Or a slice of pizza? Does it still work this way? 354 00:28:25,121 --> 00:28:29,250 JONAH: It doesn't. They ask you. I'm starting to notice that. 355 00:28:29,292 --> 00:28:33,254 JONAH: do you get to have sex with her? 356 00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:39,177 SAM: I certainly hope so. Will she scratch up your back? 357 00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:41,262 SAM: What? 358 00:28:41,304 --> 00:28:45,850 JONAH: the man when they're having sex. 359 00:28:45,934 --> 00:28:49,396 How do you know this? Jed's got cable. 360 00:28:50,522 --> 00:28:52,440 [INDISTINCT DIALOGUE ON TV] 361 00:28:52,482 --> 00:28:55,360 [GUNFIRE AND INDIANS YELPING ON TV] 362 00:28:55,402 --> 00:28:56,986 [DOGS BARKING ON TV] 363 00:28:59,656 --> 00:29:01,825 MOTHER: Okay, Mommy's got to go out now. 364 00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:06,705 When will I get a brother? a brother to play with. 365 00:29:06,788 --> 00:29:10,083 That's why Mommy is going to happy hour. 366 00:29:10,166 --> 00:29:15,296 Just sit there with Mr. Babysitter, and he'll take good care of you. 367 00:29:15,380 --> 00:29:19,509 Don't sit so close to that thing. It's going to rot your brain. 368 00:29:22,887 --> 00:29:29,019 Why didn't you take my call? I can't always pick up the phone. 369 00:29:29,102 --> 00:29:34,357 Your nostrils flare out when you're mad. 370 00:29:34,399 --> 00:29:36,568 [GUNFIRE AND MEN SCREAMING] 371 00:29:41,865 --> 00:29:47,078 Sorry about yesterday. How did everything go with you? 372 00:29:47,162 --> 00:29:51,041 Keep them closed. Pretty well. About the other night 373 00:29:51,082 --> 00:29:54,294 You're not peeking, are you? I want this to be a surprise. 374 00:29:54,377 --> 00:29:57,881 I really don't need to be surprised. Where are we going? 375 00:29:57,922 --> 00:30:00,592 Only the finest restaurant in town. 376 00:30:01,885 --> 00:30:05,430 Open, sesame. 377 00:30:05,513 --> 00:30:06,598 Medieval Times? 378 00:30:06,681 --> 00:30:10,185 [CABLE GUY MIMICS HORN TOOTING] 379 00:30:10,268 --> 00:30:14,689 CABLE GUY: I come twice a week. 380 00:30:14,731 --> 00:30:21,446 Welcome to Medieval Times. Care for something from the barkeep? 381 00:30:23,156 --> 00:30:26,284 Dost thust have thou a mug of ale for me and me mate? 382 00:30:26,368 --> 00:30:33,249 He has been pitched in battle for for the frosty brew. 383 00:30:34,959 --> 00:30:39,923 I'll be right back, My Lord. My thanks to ye, fair wench. 384 00:30:42,592 --> 00:30:43,593 Boom-bam. 385 00:30:43,635 --> 00:30:46,012 Oh, thanks. 386 00:30:46,096 --> 00:30:49,432 Look, I have to tell you-- This is kind of difficult. 387 00:30:49,516 --> 00:30:51,518 Hold that thought. Show's on. 388 00:30:51,601 --> 00:30:52,852 [HORNS TOOTING] 389 00:30:52,936 --> 00:30:59,442 Welcome to a magnificen t journey into the past. 390 00:30:59,484 --> 00:31:04,072 This is Medieval Times! 391 00:31:04,114 --> 00:31:06,449 [CHEERING] 392 00:31:06,491 --> 00:31:10,995 Are you prepared for a night of feasting and sport 393 00:31:11,037 --> 00:31:14,082 the likes of which you'll never forget? 394 00:31:14,165 --> 00:31:15,375 Yes! 395 00:31:15,458 --> 00:31:20,463 Stand up and cheer for your section's knight. 396 00:31:20,547 --> 00:31:24,759 Let the games begin! The blue knight rules! 397 00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:30,015 The red knight sucks the big one! You're going down, red knight! 398 00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:34,436 Going down, down, down! Red knight going down! 399 00:31:34,519 --> 00:31:37,981 Down, down, down. Red knight going down! 400 00:31:41,317 --> 00:31:43,695 Smite him! 401 00:31:46,823 --> 00:31:50,452 Could I get a knife and fork? There were none in medieval times. 402 00:31:50,493 --> 00:31:54,664 Hence, none at Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi? 403 00:31:54,706 --> 00:31:56,708 No utensils, but there was Pepsi? 404 00:31:56,791 --> 00:31:59,210 Dude, I've got a lot of tables. 405 00:32:04,591 --> 00:32:06,551 Can I have your skin? Sure. 406 00:32:06,634 --> 00:32:08,720 Check this out. 407 00:32:15,185 --> 00:32:19,773 Silence of the Lambs. 408 00:32:19,856 --> 00:32:23,943 Hello, Clarice. It's good to see you again. 409 00:32:24,027 --> 00:32:25,570 [CHATTERING] 410 00:32:25,653 --> 00:32:26,571 [LAUGHS] 411 00:32:26,654 --> 00:32:28,198 Oh, Lord. 412 00:32:28,239 --> 00:32:32,494 Listen, I want you to know, as a person-- 413 00:32:32,535 --> 00:32:35,789 We have reached the climax of our competition. 414 00:32:35,872 --> 00:32:41,670 Two noblemen from our audience will battle to the death. 415 00:32:41,753 --> 00:32:43,546 to resolve a grievance. 416 00:32:43,630 --> 00:32:50,970 Master Steven Kovacs come to the fighting pit! 417 00:32:51,054 --> 00:32:52,222 [CROWD CHEERING] 418 00:32:52,263 --> 00:32:55,141 Let's go. What's going on? 419 00:32:55,225 --> 00:32:59,396 We're going to do battle. Is this a normal part of the show? 420 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:02,399 o, but I give all the knights free cable. 421 00:33:02,482 --> 00:33:05,527 They say it'd be cool if we went at it for a while. 422 00:33:05,568 --> 00:33:09,656 Is it safe? Sure! That's what the armor's for. 423 00:33:09,739 --> 00:33:11,282 [HORNS TOOTING] 424 00:33:11,324 --> 00:33:15,745 We have to be careful not to hurt each other, right? 425 00:33:15,787 --> 00:33:22,627 I cannot listen to you, and are about to meet your demise. 426 00:33:22,711 --> 00:33:25,130 [CROWD CHEERING] 427 00:33:28,049 --> 00:33:30,343 Just take it easy, all right? 428 00:33:30,427 --> 00:33:32,137 [GROWLING] 429 00:33:39,310 --> 00:33:41,688 Nice move. 430 00:33:43,481 --> 00:33:47,569 Necessity is the mother of invention. 431 00:33:47,652 --> 00:33:50,113 [SCREAMING] 432 00:33:50,196 --> 00:33:54,367 Come back so that I may brain thee! 433 00:33:54,451 --> 00:33:56,703 Ow! Oh! Ugh! 434 00:33:58,288 --> 00:34:02,667 My leg! I have a cramp. 435 00:34:02,751 --> 00:34:04,669 Are you all right? 436 00:34:07,714 --> 00:34:09,674 I am now. 437 00:34:09,758 --> 00:34:10,800 [THUMP] 438 00:34:10,884 --> 00:34:13,136 [CABLE GUY LAUGHING] 439 00:34:18,141 --> 00:34:20,268 STEVEN: Oh, my God! 440 00:34:27,275 --> 00:34:31,279 That's the spirit. Let's give them a show! 441 00:34:36,451 --> 00:34:37,410 [GRUNTING] 442 00:34:42,665 --> 00:34:44,334 [SCREAMING] 443 00:34:45,335 --> 00:34:51,716 I'm blinded! My eyes! 444 00:34:52,634 --> 00:34:54,177 [SCREAMING] 445 00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:57,472 I don't believe you. It's another trick. 446 00:34:57,514 --> 00:35:03,561 Oh. So that's how it's going to be? You want to play rough? 447 00:35:04,229 --> 00:35:06,898 Daddy can play rough! 448 00:35:08,817 --> 00:35:14,823 This is like when Spock fought Kirk. Best friends forced to do battle. 449 00:35:14,906 --> 00:35:19,327 [CABLE GUY HUMMING SUSPENSEFUL TUNE] 450 00:35:24,457 --> 00:35:25,458 [SCREAMING] 451 00:35:36,928 --> 00:35:41,599 Chip, this isn't funny! Stop it! 452 00:35:41,683 --> 00:35:47,856 The name is Spock. If we don't fight to the death, they'll kill us both. 453 00:35:47,939 --> 00:35:50,775 This isn't Star Trek. 454 00:35:55,905 --> 00:35:58,074 Goodbye, Jim. 455 00:35:58,116 --> 00:35:59,826 [SCREAMING] 456 00:36:02,871 --> 00:36:04,831 [CROWD CHEERING] 457 00:36:13,089 --> 00:36:14,632 [HUMMING] 458 00:36:16,593 --> 00:36:19,721 KING: Good fight. Good fight. 459 00:36:19,804 --> 00:36:22,807 Eat! Keep eating! 460 00:36:26,102 --> 00:36:29,439 Quickly! Muster atop your steed. 461 00:36:31,524 --> 00:36:37,238 Get on the friggin' horse. I don't think he's kidding. 462 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:42,327 STEVEN: Don't do this! Good luck to you! 463 00:36:42,410 --> 00:36:45,955 CABLE GUY: This is our destiny STEVEN: No, it's not! 464 00:36:46,039 --> 00:36:47,040 CABLE GUY: Yes, it is! Yes, it is! 465 00:36:47,123 --> 00:36:48,958 STEVEN: No, it isn't! No, it isn't! 466 00:36:49,042 --> 00:36:51,586 CABLE GUY: Is! Is! STEVEN: Isn't! Isn't! 467 00:36:57,634 --> 00:36:59,469 [GROANING] 468 00:37:01,638 --> 00:37:03,306 Are you all right? 469 00:37:09,396 --> 00:37:13,483 Well done, good sir. You are the victor. 470 00:37:14,484 --> 00:37:16,820 But we will meet again. 471 00:37:16,903 --> 00:37:18,029 [LAUGHS] 472 00:37:19,030 --> 00:37:21,324 [CROWD CHEERING] 473 00:37:23,535 --> 00:37:24,869 Yes! 474 00:37:26,079 --> 00:37:27,455 Whoo! 475 00:37:30,375 --> 00:37:31,835 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 476 00:37:31,876 --> 00:37:33,211 [CRACKING] 477 00:37:33,253 --> 00:37:36,089 Oh. Did you hear that? Yeah. 478 00:37:36,172 --> 00:37:37,716 Thanks. 479 00:37:37,799 --> 00:37:43,805 You have a warrior's instinct. I had a real feeling of power. 480 00:37:43,847 --> 00:37:48,393 If Robin had seen you, to come back. 481 00:37:48,435 --> 00:37:51,730 These knights get laid all the time. 482 00:37:51,813 --> 00:37:54,274 STEVEN: We should go again next week. 483 00:37:54,858 --> 00:37:55,900 [MACHINE BEEPING] 484 00:37:55,984 --> 00:38:00,488 MACHINE: You have no messages. Nobody loves you. 485 00:38:01,865 --> 00:38:08,121 I left something in the living room. Will you check it out for me? 486 00:38:08,204 --> 00:38:12,417 Just a little piece of equipment. 487 00:38:18,048 --> 00:38:21,760 What do you think? What is all this? 488 00:38:24,262 --> 00:38:29,768 It appears as if someone has updated your home entertainment system. 489 00:38:31,978 --> 00:38:37,317 I got you the big-screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine 490 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:43,114 and THX-quality sound that would make George Lucas cream his pants. 491 00:38:43,198 --> 00:38:46,993 You got in here when I was out? 492 00:38:47,077 --> 00:38:50,372 How else could I get the stuff in? 493 00:38:50,455 --> 00:38:54,459 How much did all of this cost? Practically nothing. 494 00:38:54,542 --> 00:39:00,006 I have a connection. I hook him up, he hooks me up. 495 00:39:00,090 --> 00:39:04,636 I can't accept this. Why not? 496 00:39:04,678 --> 00:39:09,057 You give me something more valuable. Friendship. 497 00:39:09,140 --> 00:39:11,434 You give me friendship. We're even. 498 00:39:11,518 --> 00:39:15,980 You have to take this stuff back. 499 00:39:20,026 --> 00:39:21,945 Okay. 500 00:39:22,028 --> 00:39:27,701 Can I leave it here till Saturday? Sure. No problem. 501 00:39:27,784 --> 00:39:30,995 ROBIN [ON RECORDING]: Steven doesn't live here anymore. 502 00:39:31,079 --> 00:39:34,040 If you wanna reach him, call him at 555-3837. 503 00:39:34,124 --> 00:39:40,046 Hey, it's Steven. I'm still trying to reach you. 504 00:39:40,130 --> 00:39:42,090 I'm at the office. Call me. Bye. 505 00:39:42,173 --> 00:39:43,758 [TAPPING ON WINDOW] 506 00:39:44,676 --> 00:39:46,511 How's it going? Good. 507 00:39:46,594 --> 00:39:51,016 Good. Keep it up. It's your ass. Right. 508 00:39:51,057 --> 00:39:52,517 [INTERCOM BEEPING] 509 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,895 WOMAN [ON INTERCOM]: It's Robin on line two. 510 00:39:55,979 --> 00:40:01,234 I had the best time the other night. When will I see you again? 511 00:40:01,317 --> 00:40:06,031 How about tomorrow? Chip. 512 00:40:06,114 --> 00:40:10,952 Ha, ha, ha. I knew I'd get you on the phone that way. 513 00:40:10,994 --> 00:40:16,291 Let's break the cherry on that karaoke machine. 514 00:40:16,332 --> 00:40:21,212 What does that mean? Karaoke jam. No ifs, ands or buts. 515 00:40:21,296 --> 00:40:26,926 Maybe a few buts. Big ones! 516 00:40:31,139 --> 00:40:34,225 [SINGING "AMERICAN WOMAN"] 517 00:40:47,864 --> 00:40:51,034 You're going on a date? I thought we had fun the other night. 518 00:40:51,117 --> 00:40:58,124 We're not officially back together. And you said time apart is good. 519 00:40:58,375 --> 00:41:03,922 Yes. Time apart from each other, but not with other people. 520 00:41:04,005 --> 00:41:05,924 That's time with someone else. 521 00:41:06,007 --> 00:41:11,137 I love you, but I have to go. Bye. Bye. 522 00:41:19,729 --> 00:41:23,233 This is just a sign that you need to live a little. 523 00:41:25,235 --> 00:41:28,446 She's having fun. You should too. Maybe you're right. 524 00:41:28,488 --> 00:41:31,783 You're damn right, I'm right. 525 00:41:31,866 --> 00:41:38,456 Oh, I got you a little something. You said we were even. 526 00:41:38,540 --> 00:41:41,126 You're breaking the rules. So shoot me. 527 00:41:41,209 --> 00:41:43,253 What is it? 528 00:41:50,093 --> 00:41:52,262 Dr. Sweers. 529 00:41:52,303 --> 00:41:56,057 My brother thought with your lisp. 530 00:41:56,099 --> 00:42:02,272 This is...There's no words It's no big deal. 531 00:42:02,313 --> 00:42:05,734 Yes, it is. Yes, it is. It is to me. 532 00:42:07,110 --> 00:42:09,279 Now I'm on a mission. 533 00:42:11,614 --> 00:42:16,286 This is going to be the best damn karaoke jam ever. 534 00:42:16,953 --> 00:42:21,332 [HUMMING "AMERICAN WOMAN"] 535 00:42:22,083 --> 00:42:24,669 [MIMICS GUITAR RIFT] 536 00:42:26,004 --> 00:42:27,464 CABLE GUY: We're really bopping! 537 00:42:27,505 --> 00:42:29,007 Whoo! 538 00:42:29,674 --> 00:42:31,593 [MIMICS GUITAR RIFT] 539 00:42:31,634 --> 00:42:36,806 STEVEN: You have some nice friends. They're just preferred customers. 540 00:42:36,848 --> 00:42:41,770 Whoa. Chick alert, 2 o'clock. What a licorice. 541 00:42:45,148 --> 00:42:48,943 Don't look. You're just playing with me. 542 00:42:48,985 --> 00:42:53,990 Uh-uh. She's all over you. Shut up. 543 00:42:54,032 --> 00:43:00,413 I'd strike while the iron masturbates. 544 00:43:00,497 --> 00:43:01,998 Go. 545 00:43:04,876 --> 00:43:10,173 Hey. I'm Steven. Heather. 546 00:43:10,215 --> 00:43:14,969 Can I get you a beer? How about a tequila? 547 00:43:15,053 --> 00:43:16,846 All right. 548 00:43:20,350 --> 00:43:22,394 Hi, Rick. 549 00:43:23,895 --> 00:43:26,648 That'll be a good one. 550 00:43:26,690 --> 00:43:31,444 Glad you accepted my invitation. Steven invited me. 551 00:43:31,528 --> 00:43:35,073 Look at him. He's having a super time. 552 00:43:37,158 --> 00:43:42,372 He's changing. You'll have to learn to live with that. 553 00:43:45,041 --> 00:43:51,131 I don't know what your story is, but I'm going to find out. 554 00:43:51,214 --> 00:43:57,262 Don't dig too deep. You might get burned by the molten lava. 555 00:43:57,345 --> 00:43:58,763 [SCOFFS] 556 00:44:00,098 --> 00:44:02,350 I'm out of here. 557 00:44:02,392 --> 00:44:05,311 [SINGING NEXT'S "ROCK ON"] 558 00:44:10,066 --> 00:44:12,652 Thank you. Thank you very much. 559 00:44:14,863 --> 00:44:20,201 The soothing sounds of Raul, ladies and gentlemen. 560 00:44:20,243 --> 00:44:23,288 You had honey in your voice. Do a song for us. 561 00:44:23,371 --> 00:44:26,291 No, I couldn't. No, I really couldn't. MAN: Come on. 562 00:44:28,418 --> 00:44:32,464 All right, already! Ha, ha, ha. 563 00:44:32,547 --> 00:44:35,800 I fought the law, and the law won. 564 00:44:37,135 --> 00:44:42,432 Jefferson Airplane performed this song in Gimme Shelter, 565 00:44:42,474 --> 00:44:48,271 a film about how the Hell's Angels had their way at a Stones concert. 566 00:44:48,313 --> 00:44:51,816 Tonight, it's my turn. 567 00:44:52,817 --> 00:44:54,527 MAN [ON SPEAKERS] One, two, three. 568 00:44:54,611 --> 00:44:58,448 [SINGING "DON'T YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO LOVE"] 569 00:45:14,255 --> 00:45:15,465 MAN: Yeah! 570 00:45:20,929 --> 00:45:27,268 What do you do? Can we talk in the other room? 571 00:45:27,352 --> 00:45:28,978 All right. 572 00:45:29,479 --> 00:45:32,941 [SCREAMING] 573 00:45:33,024 --> 00:45:36,403 [CONTINUES SINGING "DON'T YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO LOVE"] 574 00:46:50,685 --> 00:46:54,731 We just had a baby born at the party. 575 00:46:54,773 --> 00:46:59,402 We need an ambulance over by the scaffolding! 576 00:46:59,486 --> 00:47:02,030 [SCATTING] 577 00:47:17,754 --> 00:47:24,594 It's the summer of love, baby. Let's leave these two alone. 578 00:47:24,678 --> 00:47:28,973 Smile! That's going to be a good one. 579 00:47:34,688 --> 00:47:36,606 REN [ON TV]: Hee-yah! 580 00:47:37,607 --> 00:47:38,858 [CABLE GUY LAUGHING] 581 00:47:41,277 --> 00:47:43,113 [LAUGHING] 582 00:47:44,656 --> 00:47:48,993 Good morning, and how are we today? 583 00:47:49,077 --> 00:47:53,873 I borrowed this sweatshirt. Bacon and eggs, coming up. 584 00:47:53,957 --> 00:47:59,462 Where did Heather go? She left early this morning. 585 00:47:59,504 --> 00:48:01,965 You cad. 586 00:48:03,550 --> 00:48:09,889 What a night. Just what I needed. Well, I'll tell you something. 587 00:48:09,973 --> 00:48:14,019 You look like a new man. I feel like a new man. 588 00:48:14,102 --> 00:48:19,107 I was getting so used I really liked her. 589 00:48:19,149 --> 00:48:22,402 Hey. It was my treat. 590 00:48:25,488 --> 00:48:31,703 What do you mean? You can buy next time. 591 00:48:34,414 --> 00:48:38,585 Don't let your eggs get cold. Buy what? 592 00:48:40,962 --> 00:48:45,717 What do you mean, buy what? The women. 593 00:48:47,510 --> 00:48:52,265 Do you mean that Heather is a prostitute? 594 00:48:52,349 --> 00:48:57,645 of course. we couldn't get a woman like that without paying. 595 00:48:57,687 --> 00:49:00,565 Oh, my God. This can't be happening. 596 00:49:00,607 --> 00:49:03,443 Oh, hey, hey, hey. 597 00:49:03,526 --> 00:49:09,616 It's okay. She's totally clean a week ago. 598 00:49:09,699 --> 00:49:16,706 To make sure she was good. And I'm healthy as a horse. Not a drip. 599 00:49:17,916 --> 00:49:24,255 Would you like some juice? You're kidding. She's your friend. 600 00:49:24,339 --> 00:49:29,552 Ha, ha. I wish I had friends like that. Get out of my house. 601 00:49:29,594 --> 00:49:34,683 She was a working girl, but she liked you. 602 00:49:34,766 --> 00:49:37,268 You might even have got a freebie. 603 00:49:37,352 --> 00:49:41,898 Just get out now. I don't Robin will never forgive me. 604 00:49:41,940 --> 00:49:47,404 I'll tell you how to handle that. I'll help you get her back. 605 00:49:47,445 --> 00:49:52,033 I want you out of my apartment And get this stuff out of here. 606 00:49:52,075 --> 00:49:57,330 Why are you doing this? You're sabotaging yourself. 607 00:49:57,414 --> 00:49:59,708 Out. Now. 608 00:49:59,749 --> 00:50:03,503 Everything was going so well. Why are you doing this? 609 00:50:03,586 --> 00:50:08,216 I made you breakfast, and we were eating-- 610 00:50:08,299 --> 00:50:10,510 Out! 611 00:50:10,593 --> 00:50:14,222 I'll fix this. I can make it cool again. 612 00:50:14,305 --> 00:50:15,598 Out! 613 00:50:15,682 --> 00:50:18,810 This is just a speed bump! I'll make it better! 614 00:50:23,064 --> 00:50:27,777 May I help you? No. I'm meeting someone here. 615 00:50:27,819 --> 00:50:30,321 [CURTIS MAYFIELD'S "PUSHERMAN" PLAYS] 616 00:50:39,998 --> 00:50:44,169 MAN: I came home and I just fell asleep. 617 00:50:54,220 --> 00:50:56,348 Most appreciated. 618 00:50:57,724 --> 00:51:03,313 Gail tells me That must be hard. Heh, heh, heh. 619 00:51:03,396 --> 00:51:09,069 We're in a holding pattern. A holding pattern? 620 00:51:09,152 --> 00:51:13,406 You need to come down and refuel. Heh, heh, heh. 621 00:51:14,866 --> 00:51:17,410 You're sexy. You heard me. What? 622 00:51:22,290 --> 00:51:26,419 You've been working hard. Take a break. 623 00:51:34,177 --> 00:51:37,639 Excuse me. What's the story with our chicken? 624 00:51:37,722 --> 00:51:44,771 Have the eggs had a chance go check on it for me. 625 00:51:45,897 --> 00:51:48,817 I'm sorry to put you out. 626 00:51:48,900 --> 00:51:51,319 See the attitude? Unbelievable. 627 00:51:51,361 --> 00:51:55,824 I'm hysterical now. What were we talking about? 628 00:51:55,907 --> 00:51:58,910 What's your job like? 629 00:51:58,993 --> 00:52:03,581 It's a little crazy right now 630 00:52:03,665 --> 00:52:10,672 Wait. I need to use the head. I want to find out about your job. 631 00:52:11,756 --> 00:52:14,259 What's with the chicken? 632 00:52:20,181 --> 00:52:23,852 CABLE GUY: Enjoy your meal. MAN: Thank you. 633 00:52:23,935 --> 00:52:26,688 Good evening, sir. Hey, Stretch. 634 00:52:26,771 --> 00:52:32,152 Pleasant night, isn't it? Yeah, not too bad. 635 00:52:32,235 --> 00:52:38,825 The weather is always nice in here. The winters are remarkably mild! 636 00:52:38,908 --> 00:52:40,785 [LAUGHING] 637 00:52:44,581 --> 00:52:50,920 If you need anything, let me know. I got it under control. 638 00:52:50,962 --> 00:52:54,758 Unbelievable. It's no trouble. 639 00:52:54,799 --> 00:52:57,594 What is your? Argh! 640 00:52:57,635 --> 00:53:02,557 People rarely take advantage of my services . I'll help you wash up. 641 00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:05,643 Cleanliness is next to godliness. 642 00:53:09,439 --> 00:53:11,983 You're on a big date. 643 00:53:13,026 --> 00:53:17,197 Argh! You'll need to look your best. 644 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,574 [DIZZY GILLESPIE'S "SALT PEANUTS" PLAYS] 645 00:53:19,616 --> 00:53:25,163 That'll take care of the shine Now, let's pluck those eyebrows! 646 00:53:25,246 --> 00:53:27,832 She loves me, she loves me not Ow! Ow! 647 00:53:27,916 --> 00:53:29,292 She loves me. Ow! 648 00:53:29,376 --> 00:53:32,837 She loves me not. Ow! 649 00:53:32,921 --> 00:53:34,964 A little José Eber... 650 00:53:35,048 --> 00:53:37,342 [CABLE GUY GRUNTING] 651 00:53:40,053 --> 00:53:42,138 a touch of Alfalfa... 652 00:53:42,180 --> 00:53:46,393 and boom-bam, we're ready to dry you off! 653 00:53:46,476 --> 00:53:50,980 Ooh! Right into the buckle. That's got to hurt! 654 00:53:54,818 --> 00:53:57,987 Suck it. Suck the air. 655 00:53:58,071 --> 00:54:00,782 You look just like Dizzy Gillespie. 656 00:54:00,824 --> 00:54:02,701 [SCATTING] 657 00:54:02,784 --> 00:54:04,035 Pow! Pow! 658 00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:07,664 [SINGING "SALT PEANUTS"] 659 00:54:07,706 --> 00:54:09,541 [SNAPPING FINGERS] 660 00:54:14,921 --> 00:54:20,218 Don't worry about the tip. But I've got one for you. 661 00:54:20,260 --> 00:54:24,472 Stay away from Robin. She's taken. 662 00:54:25,598 --> 00:54:26,766 Boo-dap! 663 00:54:28,810 --> 00:54:30,603 [CABLE GUY SCATTING] 664 00:54:32,564 --> 00:54:38,695 A man was beaten in a restroom by a bathroom attendant. 665 00:54:38,737 --> 00:54:45,744 The victim is unable to speak, but witnesses described the assailant. 666 00:54:45,910 --> 00:54:46,870 We'll be right back. 667 00:54:46,953 --> 00:54:51,082 ANNOUNCER: that has captured the nation. 668 00:54:51,166 --> 00:54:56,963 Everyone awaits the verdict, but we're showing the movie now. 669 00:54:57,047 --> 00:55:00,258 Crybaby. I love you. 670 00:55:00,342 --> 00:55:04,846 No, Sammy! Look who's crying now. 671 00:55:04,888 --> 00:55:06,306 [GUNSHOT ON TV] 672 00:55:06,389 --> 00:55:12,270 ANNOUNCER: in Brother Sweet Brother. 673 00:55:12,312 --> 00:55:14,981 Parental discretion advised. 674 00:55:25,033 --> 00:55:26,701 [DOORBELL RINGS] 675 00:55:26,785 --> 00:55:31,373 ROBIN: Who is it? It's the cable guy. 676 00:55:31,456 --> 00:55:34,793 My cable's fine. 677 00:55:34,876 --> 00:55:40,840 I have an upgrade order for one That's every channel available. 678 00:55:40,924 --> 00:55:43,343 I didn't order that. 679 00:55:46,137 --> 00:55:49,474 I guess you have a secret admirer. 680 00:55:52,936 --> 00:55:56,231 Is it a man named Steven? I can't say. 681 00:55:56,314 --> 00:55:59,442 Come on. I promised Steven I wouldn't say. 682 00:55:59,526 --> 00:56:01,611 Oh, look what I've done. 683 00:56:01,695 --> 00:56:07,158 You didn't hear it from me. Heh, heh, heh. Hold on. 684 00:56:07,617 --> 00:56:09,619 [] 685 00:56:23,216 --> 00:56:26,136 CABLE GUY: Oopsie-daisy. 686 00:56:26,177 --> 00:56:30,598 Male witches are the worst kind. He's not a witch. 687 00:56:33,101 --> 00:56:34,728 [BOTTLES CLANGING] 688 00:56:37,230 --> 00:56:41,526 That about does it. My work is done. 689 00:56:42,944 --> 00:56:44,195 Okay. 690 00:56:45,155 --> 00:56:47,490 That was hot up there. 691 00:56:51,661 --> 00:56:56,458 Are you a friend of Steven's? I'm proud to say that I am. 692 00:56:56,499 --> 00:57:00,962 I recently installed his cable and we just hit it off. 693 00:57:01,046 --> 00:57:06,009 Are you guys going out a lot? Not really. 694 00:57:06,092 --> 00:57:08,970 That guy is devoted to you. 695 00:57:09,012 --> 00:57:10,180 [SNIFFS] 696 00:57:10,221 --> 00:57:13,516 I shouldn't be telling you this, 697 00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:16,978 but he thinks you're the cat's pajamas. 698 00:57:17,020 --> 00:57:18,521 ROBIN: Oh. 699 00:57:18,605 --> 00:57:20,106 Did he say that? 700 00:57:20,190 --> 00:57:22,359 [HUMMING] 701 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:28,073 Only every five minutes. I'm just joking. 702 00:57:28,156 --> 00:57:31,451 He's a good man. Yeah. 703 00:57:31,534 --> 00:57:36,998 He mentioned that you've had some problems. 704 00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:41,461 Yeah. It's a little complicated. It always is. 705 00:57:41,544 --> 00:57:45,423 I asked a woman to marry me once. 706 00:57:45,507 --> 00:57:52,138 She wanted to think about it. We agreed to take some time apart. 707 00:57:52,222 --> 00:57:57,227 You know Give each other space. 708 00:58:00,230 --> 00:58:02,941 Well, she's no longer with us. 709 00:58:05,193 --> 00:58:08,196 Oh. I'm sorry. 710 00:58:08,238 --> 00:58:12,826 Sometimes you don't know what you've got till it's gone. 711 00:58:14,911 --> 00:58:21,209 Promise me you'll never go bungee jumping in Mexico. 712 00:58:21,251 --> 00:58:26,131 I promise. Anyway, 713 00:58:26,214 --> 00:58:28,758 I've said too much. 714 00:58:31,845 --> 00:58:33,888 Thank you. 715 00:58:36,474 --> 00:58:40,603 Cherish him, Robin. Every hair on his head. 716 00:58:44,524 --> 00:58:46,276 [PHONE RINGS] 717 00:58:46,943 --> 00:58:48,778 Excuse me. 718 00:58:50,113 --> 00:58:52,365 Hello. ROBIN: I love you. 719 00:58:52,449 --> 00:58:56,453 Robin? I love you too. 720 00:58:56,536 --> 00:58:59,873 That was so sweet of you. 721 00:58:59,956 --> 00:59:01,041 Oh, well-- 722 00:59:01,124 --> 00:59:05,045 You didn't have to do that. I-- I wanted to. 723 00:59:05,128 --> 00:59:09,674 Giving me free cable. Only you would do something like that. 724 00:59:11,968 --> 00:59:13,136 Oh. 725 00:59:13,219 --> 00:59:18,933 I wanted to do something for you, but you needed space, so... 726 00:59:19,017 --> 00:59:22,771 Let's not make any more rules. Okay. 727 00:59:22,812 --> 00:59:30,070 Call me later if you're around Sure, as soon as I get home. 728 00:59:30,153 --> 00:59:32,781 Bye. All right. Bye. 729 00:59:32,822 --> 00:59:39,621 Dude. Are you ready to rock? Oh, the concert. Oh, Jesus. 730 00:59:39,662 --> 00:59:43,583 I think Robin and I are getting back together. 731 00:59:43,667 --> 00:59:50,715 So you're blowing me off again I won't put up with it anymore. 732 00:59:52,217 --> 00:59:54,386 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 733 00:59:55,637 --> 00:59:58,056 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO] 734 00:59:58,139 --> 01:00:04,020 Can't you ask someone else to go? Maybe I'll take my cable guy. 735 01:00:10,443 --> 01:00:12,737 I'll call you later-- 736 01:00:19,035 --> 01:00:24,457 Pretty smooth work. you knock them down. 737 01:00:24,541 --> 01:00:31,006 What? Robin. I got her back for you. 738 01:00:31,089 --> 01:00:35,677 How do you know about us? Free cable's an aphrodisiac. 739 01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:42,100 Don't mess around with my life I wanted to make things up to you. 740 01:00:44,936 --> 01:00:47,856 Do you want to catch a flick? 741 01:00:52,235 --> 01:00:56,990 I appreciate you helping me out with Robin. 742 01:00:57,073 --> 01:01:04,622 Now I'll have to work extra hard not to screw things up again. 743 01:01:04,706 --> 01:01:11,713 You're a nice guy, but I just don't have time for a new friend. 744 01:01:12,005 --> 01:01:13,798 Okay? 745 01:01:16,051 --> 01:01:22,057 What are you trying to say? I don't want to be your friend. 746 01:01:25,435 --> 01:01:31,649 I appreciate your honesty. You're a straight shooter. 747 01:01:31,733 --> 01:01:37,906 So you're all right? Hey, I'm a big boy. 748 01:01:37,989 --> 01:01:41,910 It's no big deal. Whatever. 749 01:01:45,455 --> 01:01:51,294 You're sure? Uh-huh. I'm fine. 750 01:01:51,336 --> 01:01:52,504 [GULPS] 751 01:02:08,561 --> 01:02:10,605 [PHONE RINGING] 752 01:02:10,647 --> 01:02:14,984 Robin Harris. Hey, it's Chip Douglas. 753 01:02:15,068 --> 01:02:18,988 Chip Douglas? The cable guy. 754 01:02:19,030 --> 01:02:20,156 Oh. 755 01:02:21,324 --> 01:02:23,576 Hi. What's up? 756 01:02:23,660 --> 01:02:28,707 I feel kind of weird calling you. I'm worried about Steven. 757 01:02:28,790 --> 01:02:32,585 What is it? Something isn't right. 758 01:02:32,669 --> 01:02:35,255 He doesn't seem like himself lately. 759 01:02:35,338 --> 01:02:41,594 Have you noticed anything? No. Things are going really well. 760 01:02:41,678 --> 01:02:47,559 Good. That makes me feel better. 761 01:02:47,642 --> 01:02:53,148 Should I be worried? No. Maybe I'm being too nervous. 762 01:02:53,231 --> 01:02:55,066 [CHUCKLES] 763 01:02:56,776 --> 01:03:00,697 Let's just keep our eyes open. All right. Okay. 764 01:03:00,780 --> 01:03:02,157 Okay. 765 01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:05,118 Bye. Bye-bye. 766 01:03:06,494 --> 01:03:10,081 Stevie, you did it, man. 767 01:03:10,165 --> 01:03:14,919 You put our cajones on the table and you slam-dunked it. 768 01:03:15,003 --> 01:03:18,214 Way to go. Now they'll probably give him my job. 769 01:03:18,298 --> 01:03:20,675 On to the next order of business. 770 01:03:20,717 --> 01:03:24,512 [WHISPERING] Steven, I need to talk to you. 771 01:03:24,596 --> 01:03:25,889 [MOUTHING] Not now. Go away. 772 01:03:25,972 --> 01:03:30,226 HAL: We have to find an architect. 773 01:03:30,310 --> 01:03:34,147 I need to talk to you. It shall wait. 774 01:03:34,230 --> 01:03:41,237 Is there a Steven Kovacs here? Yeah. What's the problem? 775 01:03:41,237 --> 01:03:45,241 You're under arrest for receiving stolen property. 776 01:03:45,283 --> 01:03:51,039 I don't know anything about this. Do not speak until spoken to. 777 01:03:51,122 --> 01:03:56,211 You have the right to remain silent. against you in court. 778 01:03:56,252 --> 01:04:00,632 You have the right to an attorney. I didn't accept any stolen goods. 779 01:04:00,715 --> 01:04:05,470 CABLE GUY: Big-screen TV. 780 01:04:05,553 --> 01:04:08,973 Cream his pants. 781 01:04:15,605 --> 01:04:18,692 I can't believe you did this. I didn't do anything. 782 01:04:18,775 --> 01:04:25,281 He gave you a big-screen TV You expect me to believe that? 783 01:04:25,323 --> 01:04:29,369 I swear it's true. Why would you accept such gifts? 784 01:04:29,452 --> 01:04:35,458 I don't know. I shouldn't have What's going on? Are you on pot? 785 01:04:35,542 --> 01:04:39,587 I didn't do anything! Just call my cable guy. 786 01:04:39,629 --> 01:04:45,552 Nobody named Chip Douglas works for the cable company. 787 01:04:45,635 --> 01:04:50,348 This can't be happening. It's killing your mother. 788 01:04:50,432 --> 01:04:55,687 When can you get me out? There'll be no bail hearing today. 789 01:04:55,770 --> 01:04:59,274 You have to spend the weekend here. 790 01:04:59,357 --> 01:05:02,652 PRISONER 1: Look at the pretty boy! 791 01:05:02,694 --> 01:05:05,655 [PRISONERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 792 01:05:05,697 --> 01:05:11,161 PRISONER 2: I'll be your friend. 793 01:05:11,202 --> 01:05:13,204 Lock down! 794 01:05:23,673 --> 01:05:25,592 You hear anything? 795 01:05:29,179 --> 01:05:32,140 I came as soon as I could. 796 01:05:32,182 --> 01:05:36,644 What's your real name? Larry Tate. That's not important. 797 01:05:36,686 --> 01:05:41,983 We have to get you out of here I found a loophole. 798 01:05:42,025 --> 01:05:47,030 I'll talk to the judge. I'll put the system on trial. 799 01:05:47,072 --> 01:05:51,451 Why are you doing this to me? You did this to you. 800 01:05:51,534 --> 01:05:57,290 You set me up. No. I taught you a lesson. 801 01:05:57,374 --> 01:06:02,337 I can be your friend or your enemy. You seem to prefer the latter. 802 01:06:02,962 --> 01:06:04,756 I'm just here to comfort you. 803 01:06:06,925 --> 01:06:09,260 Come on, touch it. Huh? 804 01:06:09,344 --> 01:06:11,763 You need human contact. Touch it. 805 01:06:11,805 --> 01:06:13,765 I will not touch it. 806 01:06:16,434 --> 01:06:21,731 What are you doing? Stop it. I know how you're feeling! 807 01:06:21,773 --> 01:06:26,194 Don't do that. I'm here for you! 808 01:06:26,611 --> 01:06:27,946 [SOBBING] 809 01:06:28,029 --> 01:06:32,575 Don't do that! You'll get me killed! 810 01:06:32,659 --> 01:06:36,496 Oh, Billy. 811 01:06:36,579 --> 01:06:39,249 [CABLE GUY SOBBING] 812 01:06:43,253 --> 01:06:46,256 I'm just messing with you. Ha, ha, ha. 813 01:06:46,339 --> 01:06:50,677 Remember Midnight Express? Oliver Stone won an Academy Award. 814 01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:53,179 Awesome scene. 815 01:06:53,263 --> 01:06:57,642 Guard! This is the man who framed me. Arrest him. 816 01:06:57,726 --> 01:07:01,646 Hey, Bernie, All right. 817 01:07:04,607 --> 01:07:11,614 Don't worry about Robin. I'll take care of her. 818 01:07:12,323 --> 01:07:18,538 If you go near her, I'll kill you. GUARD: That's it. Let's go! 819 01:07:18,621 --> 01:07:20,123 [DOOR LOCK BUZZES] 820 01:07:20,206 --> 01:07:26,379 This concludes our broadcast day. Click. 821 01:07:26,463 --> 01:07:30,550 You've been blowing me off. This guy's doing a number on me. 822 01:07:30,633 --> 01:07:34,346 I told you to stay away from him. You said I could get free cable. 823 01:07:34,429 --> 01:07:37,807 Did I tell you to have a karaoke jam with him? 824 01:07:38,683 --> 01:07:42,270 I'm out on bail. 825 01:07:45,732 --> 01:07:50,195 I'll see if I can track him down. What was his name? 826 01:07:50,278 --> 01:07:55,492 Larry Tate. But he told me his name was Chip Douglas. 827 01:07:55,575 --> 01:07:59,829 Chip Douglas? That sounds familiar. 828 01:08:00,830 --> 01:08:03,500 Are you okay? Yeah. I'm fine. 829 01:08:03,583 --> 01:08:08,046 You're not fine. I just want to get this over with. 830 01:08:08,129 --> 01:08:10,840 I hate visiting my parents. 831 01:08:10,924 --> 01:08:12,384 [DOORBELL RINGS] 832 01:08:12,467 --> 01:08:18,973 Is this guy cool? Just joking. Come in, you psycho. 833 01:08:19,015 --> 01:08:22,686 What is he doing here? I invited him. 834 01:08:22,769 --> 01:08:24,104 When? 835 01:08:24,187 --> 01:08:27,273 At lunch the other day. You had lunch with him? 836 01:08:27,357 --> 01:08:32,112 You look great. And you are a vision. 837 01:08:32,195 --> 01:08:38,201 Hello, Steven. You look rested Come here. 838 01:08:38,243 --> 01:08:44,165 What's wrong? You seem weird. You had me sent to jail. 839 01:08:44,207 --> 01:08:49,379 I should take you to the police. You can if you like. 840 01:08:49,421 --> 01:08:53,633 But I'd hate to have to show Robin this. 841 01:08:53,717 --> 01:08:59,556 Bastard! Let's just have a good time tonight. 842 01:08:59,597 --> 01:09:01,057 [ALL LAUGHING] 843 01:09:01,141 --> 01:09:07,105 Steven is carrying his battle ax and chasing me. 844 01:09:07,188 --> 01:09:11,192 So I say, "Hey, it's just a show! What are you trying to prove?" 845 01:09:11,276 --> 01:09:14,154 [ALL LAUGHING] 846 01:09:14,237 --> 01:09:19,826 He takes things too seriously. The guy almost took my head off. 847 01:09:19,909 --> 01:09:22,162 [ALL LAUGHING] 848 01:09:26,082 --> 01:09:31,296 You never played Porno Password? It's the adult version of the show. 849 01:09:31,379 --> 01:09:36,301 Robin, you're on my team. Steven, you're with Mom. 850 01:09:36,968 --> 01:09:39,054 You're the judges. 851 01:09:39,137 --> 01:09:41,973 Pick a word. 852 01:09:44,100 --> 01:09:45,435 [SNORTS] 853 01:09:46,478 --> 01:09:48,938 WOMAN: Oh. Heh, heh, heh. 854 01:09:51,983 --> 01:09:55,779 [WHISPERING] The password is 855 01:09:55,862 --> 01:09:58,782 vagina. 856 01:09:58,823 --> 01:10:03,286 I really don't want to play. Come on, Steven. 857 01:10:06,164 --> 01:10:07,999 Woman. 858 01:10:09,334 --> 01:10:11,670 Woman. Uh, man? 859 01:10:11,753 --> 01:10:12,837 No. 860 01:10:16,883 --> 01:10:18,593 Penis. 861 01:10:18,677 --> 01:10:21,304 [ALL CHUCKLING] 862 01:10:22,597 --> 01:10:24,140 Penis. 863 01:10:24,182 --> 01:10:25,642 [LAUGHING] 864 01:10:27,936 --> 01:10:30,772 Penis. Vagina? 865 01:10:30,814 --> 01:10:33,650 Yes! Yes! 866 01:10:33,692 --> 01:10:37,404 She got vagina! She got vagina! 867 01:10:37,487 --> 01:10:43,034 I would have said "schlong." Now we're starting to get this! 868 01:10:45,453 --> 01:10:47,372 [PEOPLE GIGGLING] 869 01:10:51,001 --> 01:10:55,380 [WHISPERING] The password is... 870 01:10:56,881 --> 01:10:59,926 nipple. 871 01:11:00,010 --> 01:11:03,763 Can I pass? FATHER: Don't be a stick in the mud. 872 01:11:06,182 --> 01:11:08,059 Breast. 873 01:11:09,602 --> 01:11:11,396 Breast. 874 01:11:12,564 --> 01:11:13,690 Tit? 875 01:11:13,732 --> 01:11:15,900 [ALL LAUGHING] 876 01:11:18,862 --> 01:11:22,073 Remember his clue. Mm-hm. 877 01:11:22,741 --> 01:11:25,744 Hard. 878 01:11:28,371 --> 01:11:33,668 Erection? No. But thanks for noticing. 879 01:11:33,752 --> 01:11:35,795 [ALL LAUGHING] 880 01:11:35,879 --> 01:11:40,091 Your turn! Center. 881 01:11:42,594 --> 01:11:44,679 Center. 882 01:11:46,890 --> 01:11:49,351 Center! Nipple? 883 01:11:49,434 --> 01:11:50,810 CABLE GUY: That's it. 884 01:11:50,894 --> 01:11:53,313 She got it! Mom. 885 01:11:54,064 --> 01:11:55,398 [CLEARS THROAT] 886 01:12:00,653 --> 01:12:03,990 [WHISPERING] The password is... 887 01:12:04,616 --> 01:12:07,452 I'm not sure how to say this. 888 01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:11,998 That little thing... 889 01:12:12,082 --> 01:12:16,711 No. I can't say that to my mother. She can handle it. 890 01:12:16,795 --> 01:12:20,090 No. I won't do it. I've had enough! 891 01:12:20,173 --> 01:12:26,221 It's just skin, Steven. No. I don't want to do it anymore! 892 01:12:26,262 --> 01:12:31,142 You're overreacting. No! He's fooling you all. 893 01:12:31,226 --> 01:12:38,233 He's a lunatic and a felon. Whoa. Everybody just relax. 894 01:12:38,566 --> 01:12:43,279 We knew this would happen. Nothing is happening! 895 01:12:43,321 --> 01:12:48,368 This is a safe place. Right, everyone? 896 01:12:48,451 --> 01:12:53,415 We love you. I hate you! Get out of my life! 897 01:12:53,498 --> 01:12:58,795 He's angry with me. I should go. No. 898 01:12:58,837 --> 01:13:03,425 You are being an asshole. Do you see what's happening? 899 01:13:03,466 --> 01:13:06,344 You're hitting bottom. Stay away from me. 900 01:13:06,428 --> 01:13:12,767 Come on, now. Come on. Come on. 901 01:13:13,685 --> 01:13:18,189 [WHISPERING] It's very sexy. 902 01:13:18,273 --> 01:13:20,191 [SLURPING NOISES] 903 01:13:22,235 --> 01:13:24,487 [ALL GASPING] 904 01:13:24,529 --> 01:13:28,199 What the hell is wrong with you? 905 01:13:29,951 --> 01:13:35,540 Thanks for the delightful evening. I guess I'll be leaving now. 906 01:13:43,006 --> 01:13:49,554 I forgive you. I only hope my neurologist will feel the same. 907 01:13:59,898 --> 01:14:04,235 Did anybody notice I'm late? You've been here for an hour. 908 01:14:15,121 --> 01:14:16,206 [KEYBOARD CLICKING] 909 01:14:16,289 --> 01:14:17,749 How's Hal? 910 01:14:17,832 --> 01:14:21,086 Don't get me started. That man has no vision. 911 01:14:21,169 --> 01:14:26,925 It's like working for Mr. Magoo. If only somebody would dump Hal. 912 01:14:26,966 --> 01:14:32,180 Ha, ha, ha. And those hair plugs, awful to look at. 913 01:14:32,222 --> 01:14:36,393 Hair plugs-- Hair plugs-- Oh, shit. 914 01:14:36,434 --> 01:14:42,273 STEVEN [ON COMPUTER]: I think I hate him Hate him... 915 01:14:51,324 --> 01:14:54,703 If only someone would dump Hal. 916 01:15:02,085 --> 01:15:05,505 I-- I don't hate you. 917 01:15:05,588 --> 01:15:08,633 STEVEN: Those hair plugs. Get out. 918 01:15:21,021 --> 01:15:22,147 [CAR ALARM CHIRPING] 919 01:15:22,188 --> 01:15:24,774 [CAR HORN HONKING] 920 01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:30,864 [CAR ALARMS RINGING AND HORNS HONKING] 921 01:15:37,078 --> 01:15:40,290 Chip! Chip. 922 01:15:41,207 --> 01:15:43,668 This isn't funny! 923 01:15:45,670 --> 01:15:48,006 Where are you? 924 01:15:51,301 --> 01:15:52,761 [ALARMS AND HORNS STOP] 925 01:15:52,802 --> 01:15:56,890 CABLE GUY [WHISPERING]: If you build it, he will come. 926 01:15:56,973 --> 01:15:59,309 [CABLE GUY HUMMING SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 927 01:16:05,023 --> 01:16:06,816 [PHONE RINGING] 928 01:16:12,572 --> 01:16:16,868 Hello? Bingo! My Three Sons. 929 01:16:16,951 --> 01:16:22,957 Chip and Ernie Douglas. I have a list of ex-cable men. 930 01:16:22,999 --> 01:16:25,126 Check these names: Murray Slaughter. 931 01:16:25,168 --> 01:16:27,962 George Jetson. Jean-Luc Picard. 932 01:16:28,004 --> 01:16:33,134 Someone called The Big Ragoo. Carmine, from Laverne andamp; Shirley. 933 01:16:33,176 --> 01:16:35,220 That's so sad that you know that. 934 01:16:35,303 --> 01:16:39,224 Anyway, the cable company in town fired a guy six months ago 935 01:16:39,307 --> 01:16:40,934 named Darrin Stephens. 936 01:16:41,017 --> 01:16:47,482 His boss was Larry Tate, from a show called Bewitched. 937 01:16:47,524 --> 01:16:53,113 He's not with the cable company? Yahtzee! 938 01:16:53,196 --> 01:17:00,203 They fired him for stalking customers. You better lock up tight. 939 01:17:00,453 --> 01:17:06,084 MAN 1 [ON TV]: the jury is close to a verdict. 940 01:17:06,167 --> 01:17:11,381 They will continue deliberating into the evening hours. 941 01:17:11,423 --> 01:17:17,262 MAN 2: but now the moisture is increasing. 942 01:17:17,345 --> 01:17:20,765 We see thunderstorms... 943 01:17:24,352 --> 01:17:26,271 [DOORBELL BUZZING] 944 01:17:26,354 --> 01:17:28,064 CABLE GUY: Cable guy! 945 01:17:28,106 --> 01:17:30,900 [DOORBELL BUZZING AND POUNDING ON DOOR] 946 01:17:30,942 --> 01:17:33,153 Cable guy! 947 01:17:33,236 --> 01:17:35,030 [DOORBELL BUZZING] 948 01:17:40,618 --> 01:17:42,037 Cable guy! 949 01:17:42,078 --> 01:17:43,913 [POUNDING ON DOOR] 950 01:17:43,955 --> 01:17:45,999 [CABLE GUY SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 951 01:17:47,250 --> 01:17:48,793 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 952 01:17:51,254 --> 01:17:55,133 Cable guy! 953 01:17:55,175 --> 01:17:56,468 [THUMP] 954 01:18:01,348 --> 01:18:02,474 [SCREAMING] 955 01:18:03,350 --> 01:18:04,809 [THUMP] 956 01:18:09,105 --> 01:18:10,774 [THUMPING] 957 01:18:12,108 --> 01:18:14,069 Ugh! 958 01:18:14,611 --> 01:18:16,946 [CABLE GUY WHIMPERING] 959 01:18:18,365 --> 01:18:23,078 Okay, I'm going! I'm taking off. 960 01:18:23,119 --> 01:18:25,330 [FOOTSTEPS] 961 01:18:25,413 --> 01:18:29,167 See you! Bye. 962 01:18:31,836 --> 01:18:33,505 [DOOR RATTLING] 963 01:18:38,176 --> 01:18:41,388 [CABLE GUY SCREAMING] 964 01:18:44,683 --> 01:18:50,397 I just want to hang out! No big deal! 965 01:19:07,414 --> 01:19:08,498 Ah! 966 01:19:08,581 --> 01:19:10,375 [PHONE RINGING] 967 01:19:12,335 --> 01:19:16,464 Hello? We could have been blood brothers. 968 01:19:16,506 --> 01:19:21,261 But you're too needy. It's a real turn-off. Ask Robin. 969 01:19:21,344 --> 01:19:25,181 The cable company fired you. You're not even a real cable guy. 970 01:19:25,265 --> 01:19:29,102 Hold on. I have call waiting. Beep. 971 01:19:29,185 --> 01:19:34,858 [HUMMING] 972 01:19:43,199 --> 01:19:47,328 Knock it off. I know it's you. Beep. Sorry. Where was I? 973 01:19:47,370 --> 01:19:50,832 Can't we work this out? I wish we could. 974 01:19:50,874 --> 01:19:58,256 I'm just so tired, Steven. Where are you? 975 01:19:58,340 --> 01:20:02,344 I'd love to chat, 976 01:20:02,385 --> 01:20:06,222 but I'm getting together with a lady friend. 977 01:20:06,306 --> 01:20:08,600 You might know her. Stay away from her! 978 01:20:08,641 --> 01:20:11,811 Goodbye, Steven. Click. 979 01:20:11,895 --> 01:20:14,064 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 980 01:20:17,317 --> 01:20:18,443 Robin! 981 01:20:18,526 --> 01:20:19,986 [DOORBELL BUZZING] 982 01:20:20,070 --> 01:20:25,325 Robin! She just left with the cable guy! 983 01:20:25,408 --> 01:20:27,827 Where were they going? 984 01:20:27,911 --> 01:20:30,663 No. I heard him say they were taking a ride 985 01:20:30,747 --> 01:20:33,917 on the information super highway. 986 01:20:36,294 --> 01:20:37,629 [THUNDER CRACKING] 987 01:20:39,130 --> 01:20:42,842 The future is now! Ha, ha, ha. 988 01:20:42,926 --> 01:20:48,139 Soon every home will integrate their television, phone and computer! 989 01:20:48,181 --> 01:20:51,101 You'll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, 990 01:20:51,142 --> 01:20:54,229 or watch female mud wrestling on another. 991 01:20:54,312 --> 01:21:01,194 You can shop from your home, or play video games with someone in Vietnam. 992 01:21:06,032 --> 01:21:09,619 I want to go home now. I'm worried about Steven. 993 01:21:09,661 --> 01:21:13,498 Steven. Steven. 994 01:21:13,581 --> 01:21:15,792 Steven, Steven, Steven. 995 01:21:15,834 --> 01:21:18,962 [LAUGHING] 996 01:21:36,563 --> 01:21:39,691 ROBIN: Help! Robin! 997 01:21:41,651 --> 01:21:44,320 Where are you? 998 01:21:44,362 --> 01:21:48,908 ROBIN: Steven! STEVEN: I'm coming! 999 01:21:54,873 --> 01:21:58,293 ROBIN: Help me! Hang on! 1000 01:22:03,548 --> 01:22:05,008 Ugh! 1001 01:22:08,136 --> 01:22:14,184 Steven, look out! Yes, Steven! Look out! 1002 01:22:14,893 --> 01:22:16,519 [GROWLING] 1003 01:22:16,603 --> 01:22:18,146 Ha, ha, ha! 1004 01:22:25,445 --> 01:22:32,202 "Dry land is not a myth! Kevin Costner, Waterworld. 1005 01:22:32,243 --> 01:22:38,375 Leave him alone! I saw that movie six times! It rules! 1006 01:22:40,543 --> 01:22:44,422 Isn't it funny that we ended up like this? 1007 01:22:44,506 --> 01:22:47,092 Ugh! Ow! 1008 01:22:49,678 --> 01:22:52,097 [LAUGHING] 1009 01:22:52,180 --> 01:22:56,768 [WITHOUT LISP] better than that, Steven. 1010 01:22:57,435 --> 01:23:00,355 Steven? Steven. 1011 01:23:01,731 --> 01:23:04,234 My lisp is gone! 1012 01:23:06,736 --> 01:23:10,115 [LISPING] You stupid son-of-a-bitch. 1013 01:23:12,450 --> 01:23:17,789 ROBIN: Stop it! Steven! I'm coming! 1014 01:23:26,923 --> 01:23:31,720 CABLE GUY: there's no danger music. 1015 01:23:31,761 --> 01:23:34,806 [CABLE GUY HUMMING SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1016 01:23:40,770 --> 01:23:42,480 [POLICE SIRENS WAILING] 1017 01:23:44,482 --> 01:23:47,610 CABLE GUY: Nice jump, Spiderman! 1018 01:23:47,652 --> 01:23:49,362 Oh, God. 1019 01:23:52,073 --> 01:23:57,495 CABLE GUY: Uh-oh. Steven called the fuzz! 1020 01:23:57,579 --> 01:24:01,666 Bad boy, bad boy, what you gonna do? 1021 01:24:02,625 --> 01:24:06,796 Could you skooch over just a tad. Thanks. 1022 01:24:10,508 --> 01:24:12,177 [STAPLER FIRING] 1023 01:24:14,846 --> 01:24:18,433 Here comes our hero. Okay. Easy. 1024 01:24:18,516 --> 01:24:22,354 It didn't have to be this way. What are you planning to do? 1025 01:24:22,437 --> 01:24:26,232 I don't really have a plan. 1026 01:24:26,316 --> 01:24:30,070 I'm going moment to moment now Winging it, really. 1027 01:24:30,153 --> 01:24:33,990 You have to admit, it's a cool place for an ending. 1028 01:24:34,032 --> 01:24:37,452 An ending to what? It's like GoldenEye. 1029 01:24:37,494 --> 01:24:43,833 No, it's not. It's not like anything. This isn't a movie! This is reality! 1030 01:24:43,875 --> 01:24:48,880 COP [ON BULLHORN]: trespassing in a restricted area. 1031 01:24:55,512 --> 01:24:58,515 I just wanted to be your friend, 1032 01:24:59,224 --> 01:25:02,352 but I screwed it up. 1033 01:25:03,728 --> 01:25:10,318 COP: You are in a high- voltage area What's that? 1034 01:25:11,820 --> 01:25:13,905 Come again? 1035 01:25:16,449 --> 01:25:23,206 Oh, I see. and chill out in front of the TV? 1036 01:25:24,082 --> 01:25:26,376 [LAUGHING] 1037 01:25:26,418 --> 01:25:29,921 You were never there for me, were you, Mother? 1038 01:25:33,717 --> 01:25:37,887 You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me. 1039 01:25:37,929 --> 01:25:41,975 I'm the bastard son of Clair Huxtable! 1040 01:25:42,058 --> 01:25:45,729 I'm the lost Cunningham! 1041 01:25:45,812 --> 01:25:52,819 I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! 1042 01:25:52,819 --> 01:25:55,613 Oh, God! 1043 01:25:59,868 --> 01:26:01,244 [CLANGING] 1044 01:26:03,830 --> 01:26:05,915 That's it. 1045 01:26:10,128 --> 01:26:13,923 That's what I have to do! 1046 01:26:13,965 --> 01:26:18,386 Yep. No. Don't do that! Come down. 1047 01:26:18,428 --> 01:26:23,266 Let's go out and have a Heineken. ROBIN: Yeah! 1048 01:26:23,308 --> 01:26:25,852 I'm not thirsty anymore. 1049 01:26:27,103 --> 01:26:29,105 See you. 1050 01:26:29,147 --> 01:26:30,982 No! 1051 01:26:38,114 --> 01:26:41,701 You're not going anywhere! 1052 01:26:41,785 --> 01:26:46,623 It's okay! I understand my purpose now! 1053 01:26:46,706 --> 01:26:51,127 Don't do this. You just need help. We all get lonely. 1054 01:26:51,169 --> 01:26:57,592 Yeah. But I get really lonely. I mean, look at me! Come on! 1055 01:27:00,970 --> 01:27:05,350 I'll be your pal. Just come on up! 1056 01:27:05,433 --> 01:27:09,145 No. It's too late for me. 1057 01:27:09,229 --> 01:27:15,568 But there are a lot of cable boys and girls who still have a chance! 1058 01:27:15,652 --> 01:27:18,988 Don't you understand, Steven? 1059 01:27:20,782 --> 01:27:22,867 [BOTH GRUNTING] 1060 01:27:26,746 --> 01:27:31,876 Somebody has to kill the babysitter. 1061 01:27:35,714 --> 01:27:38,008 [SIGHS] 1062 01:27:42,262 --> 01:27:46,725 This is the moment we've been waiting for. The jury is ready... 1063 01:27:46,808 --> 01:27:49,894 WOMAN 1: that they've reached a verdict. 1064 01:27:49,978 --> 01:27:53,189 WOMAN 2: The jury is seated and the verdict... 1065 01:27:53,231 --> 01:27:57,402 [REPORTERS SPEAKING IN VARIOUS FOREIGN LANGUAGES] 1066 01:28:06,244 --> 01:28:10,498 MAN 1: The moment of truth... MAN 2: Sweet has been found... 1067 01:28:15,712 --> 01:28:16,963 [STATIC NOISE] 1068 01:28:20,050 --> 01:28:21,676 [ALL GROANING] 1069 01:28:27,265 --> 01:28:29,642 Help. Help. 1070 01:28:33,897 --> 01:28:36,775 Preferred customer, my ass! 1071 01:28:37,901 --> 01:28:39,527 [TV TURNS OFF] 1072 01:28:52,165 --> 01:28:54,125 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1073 01:29:05,845 --> 01:29:07,138 [GRUNTING] 1074 01:29:17,023 --> 01:29:17,982 Phew. 1075 01:29:19,150 --> 01:29:21,069 [CABLE GUY MIMICS RADIO NOISE] 1076 01:29:21,152 --> 01:29:26,700 Squad 51. Squad 51. Man down. Possible back injury. 1077 01:29:29,244 --> 01:29:34,332 Nancy, we'll need an IV with D-5-W. 1078 01:29:34,416 --> 01:29:38,169 Check vital signs. Administer drip. 1079 01:29:39,129 --> 01:29:42,465 Prepare to defibrillate! Clear! 1080 01:29:42,549 --> 01:29:44,175 [CHOPPER WHIRRING] 1081 01:29:48,263 --> 01:29:50,181 [POLICE SIREN WAILING] 1082 01:29:52,225 --> 01:29:53,643 Wait! 1083 01:30:00,358 --> 01:30:03,570 You two will be just fine. 1084 01:30:03,653 --> 01:30:08,408 Take care of him, Robin. He's good people. 1085 01:30:08,491 --> 01:30:11,536 You never told me your real name. 1086 01:30:12,537 --> 01:30:16,666 You still want to know my name? 1087 01:30:17,667 --> 01:30:18,752 Yeah. 1088 01:30:21,212 --> 01:30:25,508 It's Ricardo. 1089 01:30:27,177 --> 01:30:29,804 Ricky Ricardo. 1090 01:30:31,097 --> 01:30:33,558 [LAUGHS] 1091 01:30:35,393 --> 01:30:37,562 Babaloo! 1092 01:30:40,732 --> 01:30:42,859 I'm just messing with you. 1093 01:30:42,901 --> 01:30:44,235 [COUGHING] 1094 01:30:58,041 --> 01:30:59,209 [GROANS] 1095 01:31:04,589 --> 01:31:06,883 Let's go home. 1096 01:31:11,179 --> 01:31:13,515 [CABLE GUY GROANING] 1097 01:31:13,556 --> 01:31:18,603 Hang in there, pal! You're going to make it, buddy! 1098 01:31:28,071 --> 01:31:29,239 Hey. 1099 01:31:35,787 --> 01:31:41,751 Am I really your buddy? Yeah, sure you are!